Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• A management shakeup at Fannie Mae (FNM)...
• A rally in MBIA Inc. (MBI) as the company announces a reinsure deal...[Note - according to data collected by our Quantified Analysis group, 37% of the stock's float is sold short so short-covering is something to consider here...]
• GDP data that showed the "economy expanded at a faster pace than previously estimated..." [Note - earlier we saw stock futures were flat but they rallied on this news...]
• Earnings from Sears Holdings Corp (SHLD)...
• Earnings from Tiffany & Co (TIF)...
• Earnings from Coldwater Creek Inc (CWTR)...
• Growth concerns for NutriSystem Inc (NTRI)...[note - much to my surprise, the stock has rallied since taking on Larry the Cable Guy as their new "face"...]
• Downgrades for China Mobile (CHL) and Vodafone Group (VOD)...
• Word that KBW cut their estimates on Goldman Sachs (GS), Lehman Brothers (LEH), and Morgan Stanley (MS)...
• A rally in oil and natural gas as Gustav approaches...
• Word that executives at Starbucks Corp (SBUX) won't be getting raises...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this quartet of stories -

• Bite reveals 51 poisonous snakes in apartment - "...keeping 51 deadly cobras and mambas in his Tokyo apartment without permission..."
• Kate Moss statue 'largest since ancient Egypt' - "The British Museum plans to display a statue of supermodel Kate Moss that it bills as the largest gold statue built since ancient Egypt..."
• Australian school may backflip on cartwheel ban - "...told students they could not perform any acrobatics such as handstands outside class because they were a safety hazard..."
• Pot is good for you? Marijuana fights the superbugs - "...A new study says that marijuana appears to fight infections..."

So...we have more evidence of the looming animal uprising as authorities in Tokyo shutdown a "slither cell" of animal terrorists. Of course, it seems that not everyone has their eye on the ball as giant gold status and handstand-safety-concerns get the focus elsewhere. I am not sure what to make of the last story but I am sure it can't be good...