Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Earnings from Burger King Holdings Inc (BKC)...
• Earnings from Children's Place Retail Stores Inc. (PLCE)...
• Earnings from Salesforce.com Inc (CRM) and JDS Uniphase Corp...[note - both CRM and JDSU are showing pre-open losses...]
• Earnings from Hot Topic, Inc. (HOTT)...[note - shares of HOTT are showing a pre-open loss of 20%...]
• Earnings from Casual Male Retail Group Inc (CMRG)...
• Earnings from Tech Data Corp (TECD)...
• A call for a bottom as it is argued that the "near-collapse of Fannie Mae (FNM) and Freddie Mac (FRE) may signal a turning point..."
• Concerns about the "lack of clarity" relating to Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, and Henry Paulson's "bazooka..."
• A request by the FDA for more information relating to using Johnson & Johnson's (JNJ) antibiotic Doribax for treating pneumonia...
• Skepticism on casino stocks as it is said "analysts see a lot of pain ahead for the industry"...companies mentioned include MGM Mirage (MGM), Wynn Resorts (WYNN), and Las Vegas Sands (LVS)...[note - MGM, LVS, and WYNN are all heavily shorted stocks...]
• A look into the newly merged Activision Blizzard (ATVI)...
• A look into the Federal Reserve and recent rumors that Credit Suisse Group (CS) "had pulled a credit line from Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc (LEH)..."
• Skepticism that the recent fee changes by eBay Inc (EBAY) may not be enough to solve the underlying problems...
• Word that Microsoft Corp. (MSFT) has teamed up with Jerry Seinfeld, former star of the "show about nothing"...[note - this seems perfectly fitting given that MSFT shares have pretty much done nothing in the last 8 years or so...]

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this pair of submitted stories -

• Bill sends in - Mutated fish alarms delegates at northern Alberta water gathering - "...a strange fish with two mouths was found at the nearby lake..."
• Joe offers - Greensburg man guilty of using gnome as weapon - "The gnome, about a foot tall, wore a hat, a blue shirt over a bulging stomach and a wide grin as it sat on a table in open court throughout the two-day trial. Morrison and the weapon were separated by about 2 feet of table, with the gnome facing the defendant..."

Bill's comment was - "Not sure if this fits your animal uprising theme (especially since it is dead), but this thing would scare the hell out of me." I do think that this fits, not only with the looming animal uprising but also with another disturbing trend we have seen.

Regular readers may remember the fishgator post from earlier this month. I noted that "monster" was another point in a series of suspicious events that began with fish walking on land and people training fish to eat human flesh. Now we have a mutant fish with two mouths, which of course means they could eat you twice as fast.

As far as the second story, I think Joe summed it up with his comment - "Assault with a deadly Gnome?"