Let me start off by thanking Jocelynn Drake for providing your Biggest! News! Of! The! Day! (BNOTD) the past 2 days while I (Monday) was getting work done by my dentist and (yesterday) was laid up with the plague. Sorry for missing the past 2 days while Nick is out, gang, but I will make it up to you today with 3 tidbits for your BNOTD - but first, the real news.

• Alcoa (AA) reported second-quarter earnings
• Oil prices have turned higher after Iran announced that it has test-fired missiles
• Google (GOOG) is having some problems selling YouTube ads
• Steve & Barry's LLC is expected to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection as early as today
• Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are being treated by derivatives traders like their credit ratings are 5 levels lower than their current Aaa' ratings
• Hedge funds had their worst first-half performance in nearly 20 years

And, as promised, let's just get right to our 3 tidbits qualifying for BNOTD:

First, a Houston man received a 35-year sentence for killing his roommate, over his foot odor. I have had some bad roommates in the past, with some horrible habits but never have I had an argument over foot odor, much less killed a man over it. Our second bit of news is that New Jersey residents may have no place to enjoy their eternal rest, as cemeteries are running out of space. Stop dying, folks!

Finally, the true BNOTD comes from the U.K., where Moses Chan (the name for a 14-month-old Dogue de Bordeaux) decided that a kitty door was big enough for him to fit his 5-foot, 189-lb. frame through. It didn't turn out too well. Moses, buddy, guys like you and me have to know our limitations