Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Earnings from Amazon.com, Inc. (AMZN)...[note - last night's post discussed the skepticism on AMZN...]
• Word that XM Satellite Radio Holdings Inc (XMSR) and Sirius Satellite Radio (SIRI) are close to settling with the FCC...
• Earnings from RadioShack Corp (RSH)...
• Earnings from Eli Lilly & Co (LLY)...
• Earnings from Dow Chemical Co (DOW)...
• Earnings from Ford Motor Co (F)...
• Earnings from Southwest Airlines (LUV)...
• A management shakeup as an executive from Microsoft Corp (MSFT) jumps to Juniper Networks Inc (JNPR)...
• The settlement of a licensing dispute between Nokia Corp. (NOK) and Qualcomm Inc (QCOM)...
• An argument that MGM Mirage (MGM) is a good buyout candidate...
• A look into the tough time facing entrepreneurs that use eBay Inc (EBAY)...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this pair of stories that my colleagues ran across -

• From Mark Fightmaster - Chimp's great escape from zoo - "The chimp grabbed the rifle from the keeper, but thankfully he dropped it straight away..."
• From Joe Hargett - Underwear chicken dare puts man in hospital - "...he tried to play chicken with cars on a freeway wearing only his underwear..."

Regular readers of this blog will quickly see that both articles fit under the umbrella of the looming animal uprising. The first shows further evidence of the revolt (as Mark put it - "chimps on the loose, almost gets a gun") while the second suggests why the animals have a fighting shot at actually winning.

And yes, I am adding the zoo keepers who left the door open and almost gave the chimp a gun to this list of animals outsmarting humans...

• Spider monkey uses garden hose to escape after workers drain barricade moat
• Gophers win a "Carl Spackler" battle as two men set a massive grass fire
• man surprised when taunting crocodile goes bad
• repeated steer escapes from slaughterhouses
• lions escaping from a zoo just a month after three bears broke out
• an alligator escape - note quote of "he's a very smart, healthy gator"
• a monkey escape (twice)
• a red panda outwitting its human captors - repeatedly
• those scientists who kept getting outsmarted by the great ape