Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• An attack on a Royal Dutch Shell oil platform in Nigeria...
• Downgrades for The Cheesecake Factory Inc (CAKE) and Sonic Corp (SONC)...
• Upbeat comments on Forest Laboratories Inc. (FRX) as the stock hits a six-year low...
• A look into "how much further can Wal-Mart (WMT) shares keep rising..."
• A shortage of deep-water drill-ships
• The arrests of two former hedge fund managers from Bear Stearns...
• Reactions to a Royal Bank of Scotland report that says the S&P 500 (SPX) could drop 300 points...
• A look into thermal solar power...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this pair of stories -

• Woman Sues Victoria's Secret, Claims Injury From Defective Thong - "a 'design problem' caused a decorative metallic piece on the underwear to fly up and hit Patterson in the eye..." [Courtesy of my colleague Andrea Kramer]
• Sega, Hasbro unveil new dancing robot - "The Ampbot is for men who like robots and who as children dreamed of living one day with robots...The owner can also enjoy being chased around the house by the robot..."

So...we have people getting injured by underwear and two companies are releasing a robot designed to "chase" you around the house? Yeah, nothing bad could possible happen in this scenario. Maybe they could light it on fire too?