Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• The jobs report which showed payrolls dropped "the most in 34 years and far more than expected..."
• Upbeat comments from Hartford Financial Services (HIG)...
• A management change at Level 3 Communications Inc (LVLT)...
• A reiterated outlook from Yingli Green Energy Hold. Co. Ltd (YGE)...
• Upbeat comments on Applied Materials Inc. (AMAT)...
• Job cuts at Legg Mason Inc (LM)...
• Job cuts at RealNetworks Inc (RNWK)...
• Word that Morgan Stanley (MS) now expectS a wider loss from Goldman Sachs Group Inc (GS)...
• Word that Microsoft Corp (MSFT) has hired a former executive from Yahoo Inc (YHOO) to lead its online services group...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this set of stories -

• British teacher suspended over push-up punishment - "...has been suspended after making his pupils do push-ups as a punishment for arriving late to class..."
• Politicians may have to take breath test - "...could be breath-tested for alcohol before voting on laws after a series of late-night incidents..."
• Man allegedly attacks speed camera with pickax - "...a motorcycle officer parked under an overpass heard loud banging noises and saw a man swinging a pickax at a stationary camera..."

So...a teacher at Derby Moor Community Sports College tried to make students exercise - what nerve! Clearly this chap didn't understand the rules. As the school notes, its "priority is to ensure that students are happy to be in school." If this teacher is allowed to punish students for being late, others might go one step further and try to make students learn. How silly. Everyone knows school is about being happy.