The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Ambac Financial Group Inc, Advanced Micro Devices Inc, Nokia Corp or Wal-Mart

Tags: ABK
4 Dec 11:11pm
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Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this set of stories -

So...mining gold with magic... I guess you could call that getting duped. Luckily for me, I don't have to worry about that sort of thing. You see, I just found out I not only won some sort of international lottery (though I can't remember buying that ticket) but I also have been contacted by a rich businessman who is terminally-ill and will pay me to help distribute his wealth.

Oh, and for those who follow the looming animal uprising, be on the lookout for a mutant lobster with double the claws. Assuming it doesn't shred you in a whirling flurry of snapping claws and you manage to capture it, be careful. Apparently, it has the "power to escape" by looking at you funny.

As far as the last story goes, can the economy really be that bad if we now have two companies trying to launch people into space for crazy sums of money?


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Schaeffer’s Investment Research, founded by Bernie Schaeffer in 1981, is a research-driven provider of investment research and recommendations featuring a unique, time-tested analysis of investor expectations. Schaeffer's contrarian approach, called Expectational Analysis®, focuses on stocks with technical and fundamental trends that run counter to investor expectations. The firm publishes Bernie Schaeffer's Option Advisor, the nation's leading options subscription publication and it's website, www.SchaeffersResearch.com, is recognized as one of the leading information sources for stock and options traders and was cited as the top options website by both Forbes and Barron's.