Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• The announcement that Standard & Poor's cut Level 3 Communications Inc's (LVLT) corporate credit rating to selective default...
• The announcement that Iron Mountain Inc (IRM) will replace UST Inc in the S&P 500 (SPX)...
• A look in how American International Group Inc (AIG) "has borrowed nearly 84% of its allotted government bailout..." [note - I bet they are really regretting the whole corporate retreat fiasco now...]
• A shareholder vote that allows Fifth Third Bancorp (FITB) to access TARP funds...
• A look into the aftermath of debt- funded buybacks...companies mentioned include Macy's Inc (M), The New York Times Co (NYT), and The Home Depot Inc (HD)...
• The e-book battle as the Kindle from Amazon.com Inc (AMZN) faces competition from Apple Inc's (AAPL) iPhone...
• A clash between clothing manufacturers and retailers about who will take the hit for steep markdowns...
• Bailout money for GMAC...
• A plunge in home prices...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this set of stories -

• Baby Dolls Raise a Stink In More Ways Than One - "...Baby Alive Learns to Potty. 'Sniff sniff,' she chirps in a singsong voice. 'I made a stinky!'..." [courtesy of Beth]
• Honeybees can get hooked on cocaine - "...U.S. and Australian researchers reported Friday that honeybees are susceptible to the drug's insidious lure..." [courtesy of Colleen]

So...we have a whole new level of reality in dolls and researchers who spend time giving cocaine to bees to see what happens. I will leave the doll story alone, but I did have an idea about the bees. Instead of honeybees, why don't they get killer bees addicted and then turn them loose to create swarms of flying vigilantes. Sort of like thousands of mini Charles Bronsons cleaning up the streets?

Of course, we might be better off if we could train the bees to sniff out stupid instead. As suggested by the 4 stories below, there is way too much of that going around...

• Bad recycling: Pay stub used as bank robbery note - "...wrote it on his pay stub..."
• Man carrying over $70 chooses jail over $1.57 soda - "...told the man he could pay $1.57 or go to jail, and the man chose jail..."
• Man spits on court floor after traffic conviction - "...ordered to spend two days in jail after he spit on the courthouse floor in anger..."
• Injured burglary suspect returns to Tenn. store - "...returned to the scene two hours later to ask officers for help..."