Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Earnings from Beazer Homes USA (BZH)...
• Earnings from Staples Inc (SPLS)...
• A warning from Palm Inc (PALM)...
• Lowered guidance from General Electric Co (GE)...
• Earnings from Sears Holdings Corp (SHLD)...
• Concerns that Goldman Sachs Group Inc (GS) may post a larger-than-expected loss...
• Upbeat comments on Pfizer Inc (PFE)...
• Upbeat comments about the discretionary sector...
• Reaffirmed targets from Monsanto Co (MON)...
• A drop in trading volume from the CME Group (CME)...
• The "official" word that we are in a recession...
• A look into retail sales on Black Friday...
• The rally in thirty-year Treasury bonds which is raising "bubble" concerns...
• A seating capacity cut from Delta Air Lines Inc (DAL) on concerns of a "global economic recession..."
• Upbeat expectations for Apple Inc's (AAPL) Black Friday sales...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this set of stories -

• Police: Man swallows stolen earrings at Fla. mall - "...swallowed a $16 pair of earrings after taking them from a JCPenney store at a mall..."
• Police: Ohio college adviser ran prostitute raffle - "An Ohio State University academic adviser and a real estate agent held a $10-a-ticket raffle that offered an evening with a prostitute..."
• Coffee stop leads Ark. police to cocaine arrest - "...Deputies said they saw the man take a sniff of a white substance off of a small spoon before going inside the coffee shop..."

So...another day, another set of stories highlighting people doing really dumb things...