Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Earnings from Time Warner Inc (TWX)...
• Earnings from Ambac Financial Group Inc (ABK)...[note - call buyers were active heading into this...]
• Earnings from MBIA Inc (MBI)...
• Earnings from IAC/InterActiveCorp (IACI)...
• Earnings from Transocean Inc (RIG)...
• A downgrade for Southern Copper Corp (PCU) as Deutsche Bank cut the stock to sell...
• A downgrade for Microchip Technology (MCHP) as Goldman Sachs cut the stock to sell...
• Downbeat comments from SunPower Corp (SPWRA)...
• Word that Corn Products International Inc (CPO) "plans to withdraw its backing for a takeover offer from Bunge Ltd (BG)..."
• Expectations that General Motors Corp (GM) and Ford Motor Co (F) "will greet President-elect Barack Obama with the same plea they have been making for months: We need help..."
• A look into how Barack Obama's victory could impact certain sectors...
• The FCC's vote "to free up the biggest ever swath of airwaves to be used by the public for cheap high-speed wireless Internet access..."
• A request from Dell Inc (DELL) that employees "consider taking up to five days of unpaid vacation as it struggles to cut costs..."
• Upbeat comments about the market from John Bogle...
• Upbeat comments about the market from Standard & Poor's...
• Upbeat comments on The Walt Disney Company (DIS)...
• A glowing review for the new BlackBerry Bold from Research In Motion Limited (RIMM)...
• Concerns that the credit crunch may hit International Business Machines Corp (IBM)...
• Upbeat comments on alternative energy stocks...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this set of stories -

• Ill. police take aggressive rooster into custody - "...police took a rooster into custody after it allegedly confronted a woman and her child..."
• Boxers or briefs? Dallas thief picks 130 panties - "...he stole more than 130 pairs of panties from a Victoria's Secret store..."
• Teen compacted in Wis. garbage truck, survives - "...the 14-year-old ran away from a boot camp-style school for teens Monday and hid in a recycling bin filled with cardboard..."
• CNN 'beams up' virtual correspondent - "...news giant used a hologram to 'beam up' a reporter from Chicago to New York for election analysis...It's like I follow the tradition of Princess Leia..."

So...we have aggressive roosters, underwear thievery, dumpster hiding and following in "the tradition of Princess Leia"...uhg.

As I have disclosed in the past, I was once attacked by a rooster named Atticus so I am glad to see the authorities step in. As far as the thievery goes, I guess we should have expected it since we already know there is a bra bandit on the loose.