Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Better-than-expected earnings from MasterCard Inc (MA)...
• Earnings from Marvel Entertainment (MVL)...
• A warning from Marvell Technology Group Ltd (MRVL)...
• Earnings from Archer Daniels Midland Co (ADM)...
• Earnings from Tenet Healthcare Corp (THC)...
• The drop in the price for platinum...
• Restructuring for the Turtle Fund and the curious comments of "...because such funds will prosper in volatile markets..." and "...The fund's losses come during a period of extremely high market volatility..."
• A management change at Apple Inc (AAPL)...
• Calls for Apple to be a "mobile gaming force..."
• More in the on-again-off-again advertising deal between Yahoo Inc (YHOO) and Google Inc (GOOG)...
• Job cuts and a strategy shift at Nokia Corp (NOK)...
• A warning from AK Steel Holding Corp (AKS)...
• A look at how solar is "going mainstream" with First Solar, Inc (FSLR), SunPower Corp (SPWRA), and Suntech Power Holdings Co Ltd (STP) profiled...[note - more on solar stocks can be found here...]
• Upbeat comments about General Motors (GM)...
• Word that the art market is still going strong...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this set of stories -

• Cheetah gets loose on Delta flight - "...she opened a jetliner's cargo door and found a cheetah running loose amid the luggage..." [courtesy of my colleague Elizabeth Harrow]
• Teen arrested breaking into police station - "...teenage boy has discovered the quickest way of getting arrested is to break into a police station..."
• Welsh road sign lost in translation - "...mistakenly erected a road sign that read 'I am not in the office at the moment'..."
• Man nabbed for DUI twice in less than 6 hours - "...first arrest came just before 11 a.m....arrested again just before 4 p.m...."
• Robodoc: surgeon of the future in theaters now - "A mechanical snake that can enter the body through natural orifices -- not an incision -- to perform operations..."

So...we follow yesterday's wayward wallaby theme with word that a cheetah managed to escaped from its cage on a plane. I guess that is an understandable situation. After all, cheetahs are known to be cute and cuddly so no one would think to double check to make sure the cage was locked, or chained, or shut! On the bright side, at least no one tried to grab it by the tail and stuff it in a pillow case. (They must have kept the boy from story 2, the sign makers from story 3, and driver from story 4 away from the plane.)

Okay, am I the only one totally freaked out by a mechanical snake that is designed to enter the body through natural orifices? I understand the advantages for surgery but come on - it is only a matter of time before someone uses them for evil. Did anyone see The Wrath of Khan???