Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Earnings from Target Corp (TGT)...
• An announcement from Citigroup (C) that it plans to cut 50,000 jobs...
• Reports that say J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. (JPM) "is planning thousands of job cuts worldwide..."
• Planned job cuts at Fidelity Investments...
• Insider buying at General Electric Co (GE) that is seen as a bearish sign...
• Upbeat comments on Energy Conversion Devices Inc (ENER)...
• The move by Genworth Financial Inc (GNW) "to change its regulatory status" which will give the company access to bailout funds...
• Reports that say Freddie Mac (FRE) "could post losses totaling $20 billion to $40 billion in 2009..."
• An upgrade for Nokia Corp (NOK)...
• A drop in United Therapeutics Corp (UTHR) after disappointing study results for its pulmonary arterial hypertension drug...
• A lower forecast from Lowe's Companies (LOW)...
• A deal between TiVo Inc (TIVO) and Domino's Pizza Inc (DPZ) that would allow people to order food through their TV...
• A survey that says economists see "a prolonged U.S. recession..."
• Earnings from Orbotech Ltd. (ORBK)...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this set of stories -

• 'Second Life' ends couples' first marriage - "discovering he was having a virtual affair within the online game 'Second Life'... "
• Cops use greasy fingerprints to nab hungry burglar - "...matched prints on an orange juice bottle left at the scene...police found the juice bottle and remnants of a chicken...also recovered some of the 78 bags of popcorn also reported stolen..."
• US space-funeral company plans to launch lunar cemetery - "...has begun taking reservations for landing small capsules of ashes on the moon..."

So...a "virtual affair" ends a "real" marriage. My brain is completely locked-up...not really sure what to say...